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WORK, YOU c*nt Inspired by John Barton Written, composed, published and distributed By Bruce John McLaren UNITING CHURCH ELDER A POEM BY BRUCE MCLAREN Email bruce.mclaren @ hotmail.com (02) 9982 4907 8 Carden ave Beacon Hill nsw 2100 Lay preacher and Sunday school teacher St Stephens Uniting Church Life member of the Gideon society. A guy called Winer once worked for himself On a contract agreed to by him Where he had to do lawn mowing For a firm called Kutting King But he soon found out to his dismay Too many people did not pay So how could he pay back the business loan Lent to him by John Barton So he stopped work after much talk And away from the contract he did walk He said he couldn’t make a dollar “Neither can I,” John Barton did holler. Along came little Herbert Porter Paying off his bricks and mortar “You can buy in” said John, “read this contract And make sure your solicitor you contact.” He did, then said “Here’s how I feel I sounds real good, you’ve got a deal!” But soon our Herbert with dismay Found the people did not pay. Said Herbert, “This isn’t working the way you said How can I get out of the red?” “I can’t help, you’re on your own Work, you c*nt to pay back Hudson’s loan” It doesn’t matter if you have strife With Patricia because she is your wife I lost a wife, you can too Or lose you house, it’s up to you. 100 hours a week will do Work, you c*nt and see it through. And don’t complain ‘bout 100 hours That’s what I do Work those mowers! So Herbert felt he had a choice To lose his house or lose his wife As neither choice had much appeal He chose to walk out on the deal. He couldn’t wait for John to pay John had no money anyway “Get back to work, Porter” John said “Don’t’you know my dear Mum’s dead And you stopped me from going to Tamworth Work, you c*nt, for all you’re worth!” When Herbert didn’t go back again Bruce McLaren got the blame. Bruce should have said (to H), “This isn’t funny, Go back to work and lose more money!” “I can’t spend more time”said Bruce My family thinks that I’m a goose For spending so much much time for you Without any thanks for what I do” “Work you c*nt, work like me That’s the way it’s gonna be!” “Work, you c*nt, work more Bruce Or you’ll get more verbal abuse” As many will tell you, I’m a very nice bloke The trouble is I’m always broke And never had a holiday And that’s why I behave this way. That’s my excuse, it should be enough People on me have been too tough They should know when I scream and shout It’s their fault for never taking me out. When I’ve been so good to others When it’s their turn to help they hide under the covers Ive been so good to Herbert and Bruce And all I get is their abuse. So they should help, I’ve helped them so More that anyone can know Particularly to Bruce I’ve been so nice I even mowed his garden twice! Yet he’s done nothing back for me Except for giving me lots of money And lots of time (I paid for some) So why on earth is he so glum? Work you c*nt, work more Bruce Or you’ll get more of my abuse Work, you c*nt, you owe me true I’ve really done so much for you. Bruce says that I lie, that I’ve told dozens Including lies ‘bout Constable Cousins He says my business principles are few And that I’ve cheated others too. How can he say such things about me I’m ’honest John’ –it’s clear to see I do not chat, or lie, or steal I give everybody a good deal. “What about Winer and Porter?”Bruce says with derision “When they were running the Service Division.” “Those c*nts didn’t work, don’t you know? What’s wrong with you” Are you slow?” “Work, you c*nt, work like me That’s the way it’s gotta be.” When my ex-wife Joyce disobeyed my directive I decided to pay a private detective To follow her wherever she’d go To show her that I love her so. She still didn’t come back And that’s the fault of Mac Who should have sought her out, by golly Dragged her back by the hair like I did with Molly. And Peter Wood didn’t do a thing Yet he held on to my wedding ring When I didn’t pay for no results He simply went away with the sulks. How dare he expect me to pay? Peter, go home and play With your doodle like I do If you don’t like it you can sue. I could go on and on it’s sad About Dee Why Police who say I’m mad Centrelink and ATO RTA and GIO But this is where my story ends Bruce and I are no longer friends Because two c*nts just didn’t work I think I’ll go missing persons ‘back o’ Burke.”

me replying to the first post, WTF HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKIN.